Did Reaching the Pacific Feel Like Finishing the Trans Canada Trail?
“It is perfectly true, as the philosophers say, that
life must be understood backwards. But they forget the other proposition, that
it must be lived forwards.”
Søren Kierkegaard, Journals, 1843
Reaching Victoria, British Columbia on the TCT
For
more than four years, the Pacific Ocean had been the answer to one of the
simplest questions people asked us about the Trans Canada Trail: where are you going? From Cape Spear,
Newfoundland, the answer was west. Across ten provinces, through thousands of
kilometres of trail, rail corridor, roadways, forest, farmland and mountain,
the Pacific remained the great geographical certainty somewhere ahead. We could
change routes, lose time, alter plans, stop for weather, detour around damaged
trail or spend months away from the pathway altogether in the winter time, but
the larger direction never changed. Eventually, if we kept walking, we hoped we
would reach the western ocean.
While
it was ultimately not as simple as walking from east to west in one continuous
line, when we finally arrived at Clover
Point in Victoria, after roughly 14,000 kilometres of walking and more than 556
days on the Trans Canada Trail, there was no question that something
enormous had ended. We had connected the Atlantic and Pacific coasts of Canada
on foot. For years that had been an undertaking too large to imagine as a
single experience, so we had reduced it to provinces, daily distances, each
step, and whatever piece of trail lay immediately ahead. Suddenly there was no
more westward section waiting beyond the horizon. The coast that we had been
moving toward since Newfoundland was beneath our feet.
Standing
there in front of the Trans Canada Trail plaque denoting Clover Point as the
Pacific trailhead felt like finishing. I do not think we should diminish that
by immediately saying that the destination did not matter or that only the
journey was important. The Pacific mattered enormously. There were too many
difficult days, too many changes of plan and too many years invested in
reaching it for the ending to be treated as merely symbolic. We were relieved,
proud, exhausted and, in some ways, still having trouble believing that we had
actually arrived and done it. A goal that had once seemed absurdly distant had
become a physical place where we could touch the water and where we could stand
and reflect.
At
the same time, the final weeks in British Columbia had already complicated our
understanding of what finishing meant. The first complication came in
Vancouver. Walking along Seawall in Stanley Park, Vancouver,
we found ourselves standing beside the Pacific Ocean before the Trans Canada
Trail was finished. For years the ocean itself had represented the
destination, and suddenly we were there. We could see it, smell it and stand
beside it, yet the route still continued. Horseshoe Bay made that contradiction even clearer. We had reached the coast we had spent years moving toward, but
the national pathway carried on across the Salish Sea and eventually we made our way onto Vancouver Island.
Then Lake Cowichan complicated things again. There we reached the Western Terminus, the
westernmost point on the Trans Canada Trail, even though several days of
walking still remained before Victoria. After years of treating west as forward,
we had reached the farthest west we were going to travel and then had to turn
east to continue toward the end. By the
time we reached Clover Point, therefore, the idea of a single clean finish had
already started to dissolve. We had reached the Pacific before reaching the
end. We had reached the westernmost point before reaching the terminus. We had
even turned back east while still completing a journey we continued to describe
as an east-to-west crossing. The geography had become more complicated than the
story we told ourselves, explained to others, or carried with us across the
country.
Perhaps
that is why Victoria felt both extraordinary and yet – on some level – also strangely
ordinary at the same time. For four
years, almost every day on the trail had ended with another day waiting ahead
of it. A day full of another section of trail to hike, unknown weather to
navigate, and logistics to figure out. Even
on rest days, the journey usually occupied some part of our attention because
there was always another section to plan or challenge to figure out. At Victoria – at least momentarily - that
rhythm stopped, and there was no next western stage to prepare for the next
morning.
That
may sound obvious, but after living inside a journey for years, the absence of
another day to plan can feel almost as strange as reaching the destination
itself. The body understands finishing in very practical terms. You stop
walking, the backpack comes off, and there is no need to prepare for another section of trail or need to walk on.
The mind (or at least my mind) is slower to understand and accept what
has happened.
I
think that may have been one of the most unexpected parts of reaching the
Pacific. There was no single moment in which four years of experience suddenly
arranged itself into meaning. We did not arrive at Clover Point and instantly
understand what crossing Canada has taught us. The journey is too large for
that. Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick, Quebec,
Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta and British Columbia have each been
substantial journeys in their own right. Thousands of conversations,
landscapes, bird species, setbacks, acts of kindness, frustrations and ordinary
walking days are behind us now. I have no idea how to fit all of them into a single answer or lesson.
Perhaps
that is why by evening all that was involved in reaching the Arctic began to
dominate our thinking. The Trans Canada
Trail does not only connect the Atlantic to the Pacific. There is another great line stretching north
to another ocean. While it has always
been part of the plan, with the Atlantic to the Pacific portion of this trek
completed, we have already begun to turn our attention to imagining what it will
require to follow it.
With
that said, knowing that we are headed north next year from Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta to Tuktoyaktuk, Northwest Territories, does not make Victoria any less
of an ending. Reaching the Pacific is
not merely another waypoint in a larger adventure. When
we left Cape Spear in 2019, the Atlantic-to-Pacific crossing was an
enormous undertaking in its own right, and reaching Victoria has completed that
journey.
Whatever we chose to do next belongs to another chapter. Perhaps that is another thing long journeys teach
you about endings. Something can be genuinely complete without being the last
thing you ever do. Walking through Victoria
to the Pacific Ocean closed one enormous arc of the Trans Canada Trail. We had
crossed Canada from ocean to ocean. We have accomplished what we had spent four
years trying to accomplish. Whatever happens next can not take that away.
Yet
finishing did not mean that we were immediately finished with the experience. Perhaps
that is because the physical end of a journey and the understanding of a
journey operate on different timelines.
The walking can stop on a particular afternoon. Understanding what the
walking meant can take considerably longer.
So,
did reaching the Pacific Ocean feel like finishing?
Yes – reaching Victoria is an ending. We have walked from the Atlantic
to the Pacific and completed the first great section of the Trans Canada Trail
we had set out to explore. At the same time, that ending is a bit less tidy than
we had once imagined. As we have learned, endings can occur in stages, and arriving physically does not immediately
provide an emotion or mental conclusion.
Perhaps that type of understanding begins only after the walking stops.
See
you on the trail!
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